Posted: Too little, too lateCARMEL, Ind. -- Campaign officials for Sen. Hillary Clinton announced today that her campaign has raised $10 million from 80,000 new suckers since her win in Pennsylvania last Tuesday, most of whom are facing foreclosure.
In a press conference today, Clinton spoke with renewed vigor ahead of the Indiana and North Carolina primaries, the latter of which she has zero chance of winning.
"I'm going to take this academic exercise all the way to the convention, all the way to the credentials committee and all the way to the courts if I have to!"
By all accounts, even private ones from the Clinton campaign, it is a near impossibility that New York's junior senator can win the Democratic presidential nomination.
She has, however, gone on record as saying she won't let facts get in the way of her blind, lust-ridden and careless ambition. She has even replaced her current campaign theme song, Celine Dion's unremarkable and never-heard-of "You and I," with another, actually popular yet still unremarkable Celine Dion song, "My Heart Will Go On" from the movie, "Titanic."
"Remember what happens at the end of the movie?" Clinton asked. "Rose lives on and Barack Obama freezes and drowns, buried at the bottom of the ocean in a watery grave, his youthful exuberance, hope and idealism never to be heard from again until the still-beautiful Rose recounts her story 84 years later."
