Posted: In Row 4, Seat 16
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In another round of political theater, Act II, Scene 3, House Congressional leaders hauled Toyota President Akio Toyoda up to Capitol Hill today to testify on the automaker's massive 7.6 million-car recall.
"I don't know what you are talking about," Toyoda said through a translator, which our newsgathering partner, Flee-Ass. Pless, translated again. "Toyota is spelled with 't' at the end. My name has a 'd.' You have the wrong president, bitches."
FAP fact-checkers walked out to the parking lot over lunch and confirmed that the Toyota car company name is spelled with a "t" at the end, however Toyoda's use of the word "bitches" may be a translation error. After much research, including a Google search on the word "giraffe," FAP concluded that Akio Toyoda is president of Toyoda Motor Cars, a mediocre Japanese knock-off brand that is made in China and features Hello Kitty seat covers. The Toyoda Cienna minivan comes with a COBY brand DVD entertainment system.
"I am deeply sorry for any accidents that Toyota drivers have experienced," Toyoda said. "I am also deeply grateful those accidents did not happen in Toyoda cars. Maybe this should be a good lesson to Americans to start taking the bus -- bitches."
"Toyoda, out!" he added, before bowing and running out of the hearing room.
