Posted: On the bulletin board at Charlie Sheen's wife's not-rehab rehab in North Carolina
SOUTH FLORIDA (THE PLACE REGULAR PEOPLE CALL "MIAMI") -- In a surprise announcement today, the CBS television network revealed its plan to switch up their Super Bowl Sunday programming to appeal to an older, hipless (oops, that should read "less hip" -- Ed.), more geriatrically inclined demographic.
"The bottom line is that we've already seen 43 Super Bowls and need something fresh," said CBS President and CEO Les Moonves. "However, CBS does not plan to abandon its sports demographic and remains dedicated to providing quality sports programming. That's why we'll be airing a 'Two and a Half Men' marathon -- 26.2 minutes of laughs!"
Moonves said the move came as a result of some interesting data produced by CBS's research department.
"Our market research suggests that our audience wants more Preparation H and Flomax ads and fewer Bud Light and Godaddy.com ads featuring monkeys and boobs," he said.
"We'll keep The Who performance, though," he added.
Other sports programs CBS plans to showcase include "The Amazing Race Race" and a "CSI:Miami" episode that shows the Super Bowl stadium in a background shot behind David Caruso's literally and figuratively enormous orange be-sunglass-spectacled head and a 30-minute episode of "60 Minutes."
