Next for NBC: Reality Show Creators Compete to Create New Reality Shows in Hopes of Winning Their Own Reality Show

Posted: Just before I got voted off

HOLLYWEIRD -- In a bold and unique display of creative programming, NBC has announced that the time slot formerly occupied by wildly funny, totally original and groundbreaking "The Jay Leno Show" will now be home to the ultimate reality show.

"It's called 'Who Wants to Be an Extreme American Loser Housewi-vivor-idol Eye for the Reality Producer Guy BFF Plus Eight Matchmaker Academy of New York City 911," said Hayden Patrick, head of NBC's reality TV department. "This is the mother of all reality shows."

The show's cast will feature a host of whiny 20-something reality-show producers who will compete against each other in creating and pitching reality TV show concepts in hopes of winning a $1 million reality TV show contract that will be canceled seven months after it debuts.

Conan O'Brien has agreed to host the show. Originally, O'Brien had expressed disgust at the idea of continuing to work with NBC in any capacity. After lengthy negotiations, however, O'Brien said NBC executives reassured him that it would be to his benefit to stick with NBC in hopes of someday earning his own reality show called, "I'm A Tonight Show Host, Get Me Out Of Here!"

"Eeee-yeah yeah, uh, that thoundth pretty good," O'Brien said in a mock Jay Leno voice as he adjusted his tie and shook his head.

"Back in the year Two-Thou-ZUND!" he added.

NBC Offers Conan Nightly News; Brian Williams to Host MTV's "The Hills After Show"

Posted: Sometime between 11:35 p.m. and 1:05 a.m. or earlier ... or later

30 COCK -- In a last-ditch, half-hearted attempt to keep ginger funnyman Conan O'Brien at the peacock network, NBC executives have made overtures to O'Brien's representatives that they are willing to consider him for the anchor spot on "NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams" or as host of "What's Going On?" -- the 4:45 a.m. local interview show on WGEM, NBC's Quincy, Ill., affiliate that fulfills the station's public affairs requirement with the FCC.

A source at the network speaking on condition of anonymity, ironically, because the media isn't authorized to talk to the media, said that though the newscast's name will remain "NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams," O'Brien will be able to pick out his own tie and even come up with his own sign-off phrase.

Sign-off phrases purportedly under consideration for O'Brien are:

"I'm Conan O'Brien. Stay tuned at 11:30 tonight if you like getting ass-raped by an enormous chin."
"I'm Brian Williams. Conan is dead."
"It's late night in England."
"This is still less embarassing than that whole Chevy Chase talk show nightmare back in '93."
"I'm Conan O'Brien and why can't the Olympics last all year?"
"Sorry I was so edgy and funny and innovative all those years. I don't know what I was thinking. Now stay tuned for Jimmy Fallon, whose job is, amazingly, safe."

Now the odd man out at NBC, Williams said he is exploring all options, including hosting MTV's "The Hills Aftershow" as well as ringside announcing on WWE's "Monday Night RAW" wrestling program.

"F**k! Can I say that on the nightly news?" O'Brien added.