WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a surprising twist of events in the fight for health care reform, President Barack Obama asked his Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel to "send up a balloon" on health care reform among Senate Republicans.
Emanuel took Obama literally and fashioned a balloon out of fabric, duct tape and a 100-pound hunk of lead. Attached to the lead, Emanuel used a rubber band to affix a draft of Obama's plan and let it fly off the White House lawn.
Because no one warned the military of the low UFO flyover, the U.S. Air Force scrambled F-15 fighter jets to chase down the balloon in hopes that health care reform would not get away.
"Butterfingers," Emanuel shouted with a clenched fist raised upward as the balloon took flight.
A few hours later, the balloon landed in the Potomac River. To everyone's surprise, health care reform was no longer on board. Instead, the reform bill was found in the Hart Senate Office Building attic where Maine Sen. Olympia Snowe was huddled in a corner, doodling hearts all over it and writing the phrase, "I (heart) reform."
