Posted: Like a new leaf on the green shoots of the economy.As a public service to its gentle readers, the Free-Ass. Editorial Bored periodically compiles lists designed to help people navigate this absolute bitch of an economy. Today's list comprises in-demand jobs with companies that are forging ahead and finding success in this difficult economy. They have work for you to do. What is the work, and who will make the cut? Read on to find out.
5. Swine Flu Vaccination Customer Service Representative: This job is forecasted to be in demand at least through mid-2010 after the virus -- and everyone infected with it -- dies out for the season.
4. Residential Interior Design: Though this sector slowed considerably with the real estate bust of 2007 and 2008, there are still clients to be found for imaginative designers who have experience with corrugated materials.
3. Rug manufacturer: The federal government is currently accepting bids for skilled carpet weavers and/or installers. The room to be carpeted is roughly the size of Afghanistan.
2. Broom salesman: Will work closely with the person who lands Job No. 3 above. Job duties include sub-tapestry sweeping demonstrations for military personnel.
1. Obama Conspiracy Theory Creator: Qualified applicants must not be in touch with their latent racism and must respect the maxim that if something is written on the Internet or forwarded through e-mail at least twice, then it must be true. Must learn a glossary of terms and how to reference them without actually knowing their meaning. These include, but are not limited to: socialism, fascism, community organizer, closet Muslim, Manchurian candidate, constitutionally ineligible and Medicare. Knowledge of Photoshop and Hitler-style mustaches a plus.
