Members of the GOP gather to discuss the most recent episode of "Jon & Kate Plus Eight"
Posted: On Newt Gingrich's lapel
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an overly zealous, self-lefteous display of pompousness, Al Franken was sworn in as the 60th vote in the Democratic Senate caucus. To commemorate the event, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi unveiled an all-new Declaration of Independence from Republicans, who are now officially irrelevant.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident," Pelosi said through her brow-lifted permasmile. "That Democrats have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of filibuster-proof majorities."
"Did I just say 'right to life?'" she asked. "I meant the right to choose a safe, legal and available option for terminating my liberal, San Francisco pregnancy, should I suddenly reverse my menopause and find a male willing to actually do it with me."
Also included in today's announcement was a declaration of independence from "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's forbidden, tragic love affairs and any more celebrity deaths.
Happy 4th of July everybody!!!
