Posted: Just below the top soilALADDIN'S CASTLE -- In a tragic public works mystery, 16 underground citizens were killed Thursday by a high-powered bicycle pump. The only remains found were two hollow eyes floating in space and exploded flesh strewn amongst a bed of flowers.
Among the 16 dead included 12 brothers Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brad Pooka of South Boston. Their younger brother Will Pooka escaped death because he was out of town "seeing about a girl," said one witness, a bearded friend who declined to give his name. Also dead were three fire-breathing Fygars who were independent contractors for the department of sewage and waste removal.
Charged in the killings was 27-year-old haz-mat specialist Dignan Duggar, known as "Dig Dug" to his friends and co-workers.
"These charges are wildly inflated," said Q. Bert Zaxxon, Esq., Dug's defense attorney. "If you give me another quarter, we'll have a chance to continue our argument on the top score screen, where we'll make our arguments three letters at a time."
"NOT. GLT," Zaxxon said.
"BRA. FUK," he added.
