Bush preparing to hold someone's feet to the fire.Posted: On George Bush's watch
HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH, Texas -- Former President George W. Bush has been out of the national spotlight for a week now and has long since been forgotten in the minds of the American public. FAP checked in on W to see what he has been doing in his retirement.
Staying The Course.
At dinner, the Bushes usually have salad and then their main dish. However, George has taken to forcing the family to stay the course and only eat salad "until the salad is won."
Waterboarding On His Private Lake.
Bush's favorite sport. While being towed behind a motorboat, Bush loves to relax and catch some waves on his lake with his feet strapped to a terrorist detainee.
Holding a pre-emptive Battle of the Bands at the local honky-tonk.
The aptly named "George Bush Cronyism Experience" recently released its first CD, "Above the Law." To promote the release, they took over an unsuspecting local honky-tonk club and had a pre-emptive Battle of the Bands. Although initially impressive in their cowboy outfits declaring "Mission Accomplished" when they walked through the door, Bush's country-western band had too few members, and the four musicians who showed up did not have the guitars and fiddles they required.
When asked how he is enjoying his retirement, Bush said, "Where's that detainee? It's time for my massage."
