Operation Donkey Punch continues...Picture: Creepy Colin Farrell with creepy Mary Kate Olsen
Posted: In a small phone booth for 90 minutes
DUBLIN, Ohio -- Getting off the fence for the first time in this long presidential campaign, actor Colin Farrell endorsed Barack Obama for president on NBC's "Meet the Press" program yesterday morning.
"You bet yer bits I support him," Farrell, who is not a U.S. citzen, told moderator Tom Brokaw before downing three pints of Smithwick's, belching loudly and then lighting a cigarette. "The guy just has somethin' about him, something that Mick John McCain doesn't."
A veteran of Hart's War, Farrell said he agonized about his decision for at least five days while he went on an extended bender in Los Angeles, where he bedded two models, a movie-studio executive and a cocker spaniel before flying home to his flat in Dublin, Ohio.
Also yesterday morning, former Secretary of State and retired five-star General Colin Powell endorsed Ehud Barak for prime minister of Israel.
Editor's note: The previously-presumed-intelligent reporter who wrote this article was immediately fired this morning. FAP is retracing his steps to verify the authenticity of this story.
