Above: Joe Biden's debate prep consultants.
Dear Readers: As the Free-Ass Press editorial bored is sidelined with swine flu, it's always fun to look back at what happened a year ago. Enjoy this reprint from last year.
WILMINGTON, Del. -- In a nonsexist attempt to soundly defeat Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin at this Thursday's debate, Democratic VP pick Joe Biden has a new strategy: Rather than express his thorough understanding of public policy as a multidecade member of the U.S. Senate and chair of the prestigious Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Biden intends to out-folksy Palin.
Palin, who is known for her hockey-mom wisdom and a completely incoherent grasp of foreign and domestic policy punctuated by fancy words she heard on C-Span, has energized Republican voters who also have a completely incoherent grasp of foreign and domestic policy punctuated by fancy words they heard from Sarah Palin. According to Biden, that momentum is about to shift his way.
"If moderator Gwen Ifill asks me how I would deal with Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin," Biden said, "my answer will be 'Kill the sum'bitch, I reckon.'"
Regarding the economic crisis, Biden intends to comment much like Palin trying to comment much like C-Span, "Weeeeelll sheeeeeeeeit! Ain't nobody ever axed my opinion on that. Palin takes a liken to job creation. I take a liken to job intelligent design. "
In lieu of a business suit, Biden intends to wear overalls with no shirt and to hang a 24-inch piece of straw out of his mouth.
"Yup. You betcha," he added.
