FAP Exclusive!At left: Sarah Palin demonstrating her concept of foreign policy
Posted: Before I was born, but just after conception
SAC, Placenta -- In yet another twist to the (amniotic) fluid situation surrounding revelations about Sen. John McCain's abrupt pick for a running mate, FAP has uncovered that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter's unborn fetus person is pro-choice and plans to endorse Sen. Barack Obama if it/he/she isn't aborted.
Thanks to high-tech medical testing equipment and the expertise of boyishly good-looking CNN medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta, FAP determined that the baby has a beating heart and a brain, two strong indications that the child is not a Republican.
"We have determined that political ideology is not genetic," Gupta said. "Say hypothetically that the Palin baby comes from a family of extremist right-wing conservative moose-eating wackos. That is not a guarantee that this baby will also, say, deny a century of scientific research that supports evolution, or believe that abstinence education works, or think that the economy is strong, or believe that women will vote for you if you have a vagina ... hypothetically speaking, of course."
After the announcement, Bristol Palin, the governor's pregnant 17-year-old daughter, spent the afternoon with Karl Rove crafting a response message that read, "Even unborn fetus persons make mistakes like their mothers and their mothers before them. That is why I have chosen life for this baby. However, I do intend to prosecute my baby under the Patriot Act for the first liberal word that escapes his or her fetus person mouth. And don't you dare question me. That would be sexist and besides, I'm off limits, except if it helps elect John McCain as our next president. That would be super duper!"
