Posted: On a tiny, white plastic peg in B-5ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Sen. McCain has upped the ante in his battle for the presidency against Barack Obama. In a show of confidence of presidential proportions, McCain announced today that "the way to win the war in Afghanistan is by using the same strategies we used in Iraq."
"My friends, if you're talking about winning in Afghanistan, which last I heard we won six years ago, the best plan is to bankrupt the U.S. treasury, send soldiers into battle unprepared and underprotected, lie to the American public and fabricate intelligence. I can do these things and I will do these things when I'm President of the United States. I'm also pretty good at Battleship, which will help us plot strategy in our upcoming war with Iran."
The secret, McCain explained, is to place ships diagonally to throw off your opponent, even though they won't fit on the board correctly.
"That way, even if they get several hits, the enemy gets frustrated wondering why your ships haven't sunk," he said. McCain challenged Obama's ability to come up with a similarly creative plan.
"My friends, Senator Obama has repeatedly said that if elected, he would immediately withdraw his destroyer and PT boat. This is not only not smart, it's illegal," said McCain.
When asked about Sen. McCain's comments, Barack Obama said, "I'm more of a Risk kind of guy."
"We need to be as careful getting out of Yakutsk and Kamchatka as George Bush was careless getting in," he added.
