Posted: Right now, in hopes of getting something right.As a public service, the editors at Free-Ass. Press wish to express regret for a few minor mistakes or missed comedic opportunities in past stories that our loyal readers and the same three very loud digg haters who always point s**t out have brought to our attention.
Hertz will not rent you a Space Shuttle. In our story, "Astronauts Hardest Hit By High Gas Prices," we claimed that one could rent a Space Shuttle from Hertz. We checked. Even when you present a Hertz #1 Club Gold card and enter discount code CDP# 77694, the best they'll offer you is a free shuttle to long-term parking. Also, forget the refueling option and collision damage waiver -- total ripoff. If you were to rent the Space Shuttle, the chances of colliding with another Space Shuttle would be extremely remote.
Jerry Yang is not 13. In our story, "Yahoo! Searches Yahoo! Finance for Yahoo! Answers about Yahoo! Buyout," we claimed that Yahoo! CEO Jerry Yang is 13 years old. Although Jerry Yang is not 13, his ego really is a 50-foot tall inflatable Asian persona in a purple polo. We truly regret the error of his age, but we meant every word about his whiny little bitch of an attitude.
The Japanese prime minister's last name is not "F*ck You, Duh."
In our story, "Bush Sends China a Short Message Ahead of Beijing Olympics," we claimed Japanese Prime Minister Fukuda's name was pronounced, "F**k You, Duh." This is incorrect. The prime minister's name is actually pronounced foo-KOO-duh, which in Japanese means "pool boy for wealthy man."
We forgot to snatch up the digg handle "CutlassSoupReam" before posting the digg story. Although our story, "Digg Users Hate Everything; Bury Internet," became the No. 1 story on digg.com, we missed an excellent opportunity to make comedy a reality. Our bad. You're welcome, jr cmuntington, a 20 year-old gentleman from IL (US) who joined Digg on July 7th, 2008. Honorable mention goes to digg user takatoo for trying.
Ass-Burger's Syndrome is not funny.
The picture we posted for the story, "McDonald's Pulls Recalled Tomatoes, All-Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese," featured a woman afflicted with a rare disease known as "Ass-Burger's Syndrome." This is a serious medical condition and not a Big Mac. We apologize to everyone who vomited on their keyboard.
