Posted: On my fourth trip to the Ponderosa buffet ROME -- This week, the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization hosted a gathering of world leaders for a hunger summit, which aimed to gain commitments from attending nations to donate money and food for global famine relief.
The summit quickly turned sour when, during the opening black-tie dinner, Saudi Arabia's foreign minister called the ambassador from Finland a "lutefisk-eating infidel."
During the melee, a starving child looked on from outside, his ashen face pressed against the cool glass window. He asked, "What does sour taste like, Mama?"
Seconds later, the food began flying. The Italian delegation hurled gobs of risotto Milanese -- a delectably creamy arborio rice scented with saffron, shellfish, sausage, grated Parmesan, white wine and rare herbs. The Finland group then returned the favor, tossing pumpkin and shrimp-filled tortellini, each time slathering more diplomats with delicious buttery sauces and herbed accoutrements that were just too good to eat.
Initially, just a few tables participated in the fight until three chefs with tall hats and Swedish accents randomly wheeled in large carts full of goose liver paté for the scheduled food-sculpting contest. Mayhem ensued as diplomats began flinging paté and wrestling, covered in the supple, fatty goodness.
Other Hunger Summit events scheduled during the week were unaffected and included a pie-eating contest and frozen turkey bowling.
At the end of the conference, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon announced, "So, who's still hungry?"
"I am," whispered the young mother whose lips were a crusty white from dehydration as she began eating her shirt.
