Posted: On our gay, liberal, activist, hippie, commie Web siteHEAVEN -- After the upper Midwest and Plains states received a lashing of violent thunderstorms, tornadoes and flooding over the past week, local residents were left seeking answers amid the soaked rubble of their destroyed homes and communities.
That answer came from the Big Man himself.
"I have warned Pat Robertson that if he continues to blame gays, liberals and 'judicial activism' for bad weather -- weather that I have repeatedly said I delegate out to the apostle level or lower -- that I would really give him something to complain about," said a vengeful God. "Christ, he makes me crazy."
Ironically, Robertson recently began appearing in an ad fighting global warming alongside the Rev. Al Sharpton for wecansolveit.org, a Web site created by The Alliance for Climate Protection, the organization of Interwebs founder and former Vice President Al Gore.
In the television ad, Robertson and Sharpton share a sofa on a clearly green-screened beachfront. Sharpton mentions how he ends up on "the left" on most issues. "And I'm usually right," Robertson says, a comment for which the Federal Trade Commission has fined Robertson $3.4 million for blatantly false advertising.
"I would just kill him, but he's gonna be so clingy when he gets to heaven," God added. "So much for intelligent design."
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