Posted: See, this is just awkward now because I know I'll have to apologize for this posting some time later.As a public service, the editors at Free-Ass. Press wish to correct a few minor mistakes that both our loyal readers and three very loud digg haters have brought to our attention regarding past stories.
Strawberry Shortcake is Not Mexican
In the story, "Americans Won't Let Mexicans Do Jobs Americans Won't Do," we ran a picture of Strawberry Shortcake. It was brought to our attention that our photo implied that Strawberry Shortcake was Mexican. This is inaccurate. Strawberry Shortcake actually comes from Strawberry World where it rains strawberries, and custard rivers flow, and everyone is happy, unlike Mexico.
Misspelling of "F**k"
Several readers pointed out to our editorial board that the banner in our story "Bush Gets 'More Specific' Banner" had a misspelling. The banner read, "What The F**k Were We Thinking?" "F**k" should actually have been spelled "F**k." We apologize for any confusion or wars this oversight may have caused.
Obscene Photo of Some Dude's "Nutz"
It was brought to our attention that the photo in "'Truck Nutz' May Get Neutered" shows a gentleman who appears to have his genitalia hanging below his pickup truck's bumper. This was an unintended optical illusion. We apologize to the man in the photo, although we have received reports that his love life has taken a turn for the better since our story was published. He thinks it was the truck. We think it was the Nutz.
Inaccurate Posting Time ... again
It was discovered that the Free-Ass. story "Reviews of Summer Blockbusters We Haven't Seen Yet" had an inaccurate posting time. The story listed, "November 5th, 1955." The actual posting time was the day it was posted, not November 5th, 1955. We regret that anyone cares when our stories get posted.
Non-Specific Details on Bombing of Syria
In our story, "U.S. Will Obliterate Syria 'Probably Wednesday or Thursday,'" we quoted U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates saying the U.S. would bomb Syria "probably Wednesday or Thursday." However, we did not specify which Wednesday or Thursday. The Syrian government confirms that their Blockbuster Video with North Korean management is still under construction.
